A bookseller placed an advert in the paper looking for a salesman to sell copies of the Bible. Three men applied for the job and were called for interviews. The bookseller asked the first man to step into his office.
Bookseller: "Tell me, why do you think I should give you the job?"
First Man: "Well, I am a devout Christian, I go to Church every Sunday and I have been a successful salesman for over thirty years."
Bookseller: "Excellent! You sound like just the man I'm looking for, however I have two other applicants to see. Please wait outside."
The bookseller then asked the second man to step into his office.
Bookseller: "Take a seat, now tell me why I should give you the job."
Second Man: "I think I am an ideal candidate, I read the scriptures every night and I have had a successful career in selling all my life"
Bookseller: "Marvelous! You sound ideal, however I have one other applicant to see. Please wait outside."
The bookseller then called the third man, who had a bad stutter, into his office.
Bookseller: "Good morning. Take a seat. Now, tell why you think I should give you the job."
Third Man: " Wwwell I ddd'ont reeeally kkknow. I'm ooout of a jjjob and ttthought I'd gggive it a tttry.
Bookseller: "Have you ever worked in sales before."
Third Man: "nnno."
By this time the bookseller felt sorry for him and asked him to wait outside. He then called all three men back into his office.
Bookseller: "Well gentlemen, this is what I am going to do. I am going to give you all one weeks trial. I want you to come back next Monday at ten o'clock and we'll see how you got on."
The men arrived back the following Monday morning, and the first man was called in.
Bookseller: "How did you get on?"
First Man: "Not very well, people just did not want to know, I think they are turning away from religion, I only managed to sell one Bible."
The second man was then called in.
Bookseller: "Tell me, how did you get on?"
Second Man: "It was tough, people either were not interested or they already had a Bible. I only managed to sell two Bibles."
The third man was called in.
Bookseller: "Hello again, how did you get on?
Third Man: "Nnnot tttoo bbbad. I mmmanaged to sssell fiifty fffour cccopies."
Bookseller: "Fifty four copies! How the hell did you manage that."
Third Man: "I kkknocked on the dddoor and sssaid, do you wwwant to bbbuy a Bbbible or ssshall I rrread it ttto you.
My spellchecker has gone for a lie down!!!
Saturday 17 January 2009
John Cartwright (1862-1944) - Part 5
Today we publish the fifth and final part of John Cartwright's story. In this final part John talks about the Blankney Flower Show, the parade of the stud, finding gold and two bonny fine boys.
The Life of John Cartwright of Blankney Fen from the age of twelve
Now for a reference to the wonderful Blankney Flower Show - one of the best in England. It was estimated we had 21,000 people there the second year. So many got in without paying: was nearly one o'clock in the morning before they got the last train away from the station. As well as having a wonderful show of flowers, we had splendid bicycle races; some of the best riders in England attended; also had some of the best trotting horses, and jumping and pony racing as well. Then came the parade of the stud - Hermit, Galopin (both Derby winners), Friars Balsam, never beaten as a two-year-old, but did not race after, Bendigo winner of the Lincoln Handicap and the Cambridgeshire, also Lord Nelson, the horse got one eye knocked out and did not race. I was the secretary for all horses. When we gave the show up we had about £600 in hand, which we divided between the County Hospital and the Farmer's Benevolent Fund. For the latter I have had nineteen votes ever since and I understand they don't run out until 1954.
About sixty years ago one of our men in the Fen, named Flatters, digging a trench to put some pipes into the home field pond, found a gold sword hilt which father got £50 for from Mr. J.D. Fisher, Lincoln.. Flatters got the money. Some years later when digging a rat out of a hole just below the top Fen gate in the dyke end, we found a gold bracelet, which Mr. Fisher gave us £64.10.0 for. The same bracelet is now in the British Museum in London. Another piece of gold was found in the Car Dike side against Linwood Hall about the same time. As the tide came up to the Car Dike many years ago we are still wondering if these gold finds have anything to do with King John's treasure which was lost in the Wash.
Just to finish this rigmarole, I knew a farmer with two bonny fine boys, both of them with a lot of good in them, but they seemed to be dissatisfied that their father had not made better use of his time, telling their mother they should make pounds where their father made pence, but up to now the pence have not been made.
I hope you have enjoyed reading John Cartwright's story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I think you will agree he was indeed a remarkable man.
Footnote
In the bell tower of Blankney church, on the left as you look at the font, there is a plaque which reads as follows:
To the glory of God. After doing service for 100 years the five bell wooden frame in this tower was replaced by an eight bell iron frame, in which the bells were re-hung and quarter turned (No.1 being cast). At the same time a treble bell was given by the farmers of the parish as a thank you offering for the restoration of peace, and was dedicated by the Lord Bishop of Lincoln on March 14th 1920
Charles Henry Sibthorp. Rector.
John Cartwright)
William Maltby ) Churchwardens
St. Oswalsds Blankney
The Life of John Cartwright of Blankney Fen from the age of twelve
Now for a reference to the wonderful Blankney Flower Show - one of the best in England. It was estimated we had 21,000 people there the second year. So many got in without paying: was nearly one o'clock in the morning before they got the last train away from the station. As well as having a wonderful show of flowers, we had splendid bicycle races; some of the best riders in England attended; also had some of the best trotting horses, and jumping and pony racing as well. Then came the parade of the stud - Hermit, Galopin (both Derby winners), Friars Balsam, never beaten as a two-year-old, but did not race after, Bendigo winner of the Lincoln Handicap and the Cambridgeshire, also Lord Nelson, the horse got one eye knocked out and did not race. I was the secretary for all horses. When we gave the show up we had about £600 in hand, which we divided between the County Hospital and the Farmer's Benevolent Fund. For the latter I have had nineteen votes ever since and I understand they don't run out until 1954.
About sixty years ago one of our men in the Fen, named Flatters, digging a trench to put some pipes into the home field pond, found a gold sword hilt which father got £50 for from Mr. J.D. Fisher, Lincoln.. Flatters got the money. Some years later when digging a rat out of a hole just below the top Fen gate in the dyke end, we found a gold bracelet, which Mr. Fisher gave us £64.10.0 for. The same bracelet is now in the British Museum in London. Another piece of gold was found in the Car Dike side against Linwood Hall about the same time. As the tide came up to the Car Dike many years ago we are still wondering if these gold finds have anything to do with King John's treasure which was lost in the Wash.
Just to finish this rigmarole, I knew a farmer with two bonny fine boys, both of them with a lot of good in them, but they seemed to be dissatisfied that their father had not made better use of his time, telling their mother they should make pounds where their father made pence, but up to now the pence have not been made.
I hope you have enjoyed reading John Cartwright's story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I think you will agree he was indeed a remarkable man.
Footnote
In the bell tower of Blankney church, on the left as you look at the font, there is a plaque which reads as follows:
To the glory of God. After doing service for 100 years the five bell wooden frame in this tower was replaced by an eight bell iron frame, in which the bells were re-hung and quarter turned (No.1 being cast). At the same time a treble bell was given by the farmers of the parish as a thank you offering for the restoration of peace, and was dedicated by the Lord Bishop of Lincoln on March 14th 1920
Charles Henry Sibthorp. Rector.
John Cartwright)
William Maltby ) Churchwardens
St. Oswalsds Blankney
Mind Reading - No Simple Maths
Lets have a bit of interactive fun. This works with any number but if you think of a fairly small number the maths will be easier. Ready. OK lets try it.
Think of a number
Double it
Add 6
Half it
Take away the number you first thought of
The answers 3
Let's have another go.
Think of a different number
Double it
Add 10
Half it
Take away the number you first thought of
The answers 5
Got it? If not e-mail me at garlant@btinternet.com I will tell you.
Think of a number
Double it
Add 6
Half it
Take away the number you first thought of
The answers 3
Let's have another go.
Think of a different number
Double it
Add 10
Half it
Take away the number you first thought of
The answers 5
Got it? If not e-mail me at garlant@btinternet.com I will tell you.
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